Last night as I was lying in bed I was searching the TV for something appropriately lighthearted to watch to lull me to sleep, well I came up with it — “Finding Bigfoot” on the Animal Planet. Call me wacky, but it’s just the ticket! If this isn’t the modern-day fairy tale I don’t know what is? If there was a Bigfoot wouldn’t you think we might have found some evidence by now? I’m talking some piles of big old poop, some dead bodies, bones, skulls, frozen fossils and DNA, something other than the ethereal things these guys chase like sounds and shadows…either the Sasquatch’s cries or him running away and of course the many supposed “sightings”, and tree knockings ? Believe me, I’d love to watch and hear about them actually finding a Bigfoot….wouldn’t that be exciting?! But might it be unfortunate for the poor Bigfoot? Wouldn’t scientists want to do all kinds of tests and observations on it? They’d probably try to catch it and put it in a zoo and let people look at it and change its poor life, again just stating reality. Maybe I’m ruining it for all you watching the show…..but I’m wondering what the end game would be. Getting back to the show….the crew consists of Cliff Barackman who has the largest cast collection of Bigfoot footprints in the country (I wonder what the hell he does with that?) and can put complex ideas into simple fashion (their words not mine) to all of us idiots watching (my words not theirs). He is obsessed with the idea of finding Big Foot (ya think, thus the show). Next up James Fay, known as Bobo who has had his own Bigfoot sighting in the past (of course he has, like half the NW it seems when you watch this show) and knows how to give the famous Big Foot yell. He’s hung out with Native Americans and learned their lore and gotten himself even more entrenched in the story. He spends all his down-time hunting Bigfoot. There is a woman in the group Ranae Holland the skeptic and scientist who is a research biologist who is not an actual member of (BFRO) Big Foot Field Researchers Org. (I wonder how she got this gig then?) who always tries to debunk whatever evidence the crew finds and finally Matt Moneymaker the founder and President of BFRO who publishes eyewitness reports on Bigfoot sightings to other believers (who the hell else would read it?), tracks discoveries (what discoveries?), and participates in leading additional expeditions (Oh, goodie, can I go Mommy?). The crew gets called out on sightings and investigates where they think they are needed and where they think it is serious enough they may actually find concrete evidence and perhaps a live Bigfoot. I’ve watched it a few times and it’s always the same. (A lot of blundering around in the woods) If there is any photographic evidence, it is blurry and indecipherable yet they try to measure the branches and re-enact it themselves, swear that it could have happened this way, but of course, the Sasquatch or Bigfoot would have been oh, so much bigger than Bobo is who is reenacting it) and make it into something and call it…Bigfoot! They have all their night vision cameras, their FLIR thermal hand-held cameras, motion detection cameras to hang in the trees, blocks of wood to hit together to make the sound like Bigfoot makes when they allegedly smack trees to signal each other (how they know this information, I don’t know) yet they still haven’t gotten any concrete evidence, though Matt Moneymaker did say in January that a Bigfoot was 15 feet away from him but the Bigfoot ran so of course he didn’t get any evidence. That’s the way it always goes. Let’s say I remain a skeptic, but easily amused by these boobs! They did lull me to sleep which was the objective. I awakened and turned the TV off and rolled over for the night. What do you think? I wonder how long these guys can ride this gravy train before people realize they never get any real evidence because there isn’t a BIGFOOT! Well, they have decided to go Worldwide, so I guess the train can be ridden a little longer…..everybody loves to see the world!
(c) Evelyn Garone 10/29/12