Okay, I’ve got something stuck in my craw today, hang on because you’re going on a long convoluted ride with me but as my lunacy unravels you might see it makes some sense and is somewhat amusing. (I hope.)
This morning my husband and I decided to treat ourselves to McDonald’s for another weekend breakfast treat, an egg McMuffin, large coffee and orange juice before we headed off to the casino for a relaxing Saturday morning expedition.
As I waited in our booth for my husband to get our complicated order ( it seemed like it MUST have been for at least 3 different employees started on our coffees and aborted said mission) I was again people watching and though I hate to be a beeatch it is something I do so well you can’t change a leopard’s spots and I noticed a youngish girl, about 16 traipsing around who most definitely left her house without consulting her mirror. Now, said girl was with her Mom and younger sister who must have been about 37 and 11 respectively. I would have thought in this day and age someone might have suggested a better choice of apparel for this hefty girl. I’m sorry, I don’t want to be too mean, but really, if this girl had been my daughter, without hurting her feelings, I would have suggested a different outfit altogether.
She was a “big” girl, not really, really overweight, but what she did have was all out there for the world to see. She had little low-cut shorts on and a way, too tight tank top with one of those shrug sweaters on over that. It was like a bra on over her outer shirt. It was very unbecoming. The girl looked like she was about 4-5 months pregnant – but she wasn’t it was just chubs. She had all her back fat hanging over her shorts and her bra and the shrug. You could see her belly button through the too-tight tank top, and it was an outy – I don’t know about you, but that’s a little TMI (too much information) from just innocently people watching in Mcy D’s. It was ghastly. . . whoever thought this was a good look needs serious fashion help. If she was dressed appropriately for her body type she could and would have looked so much more attractive. At the least, if the clothes were her size, she wouldn’t have looked as over-weight.
I’m wondering if I could be the new “Fashion Police” in my neighborhood, and politely take people like this under my wing and beg them to let me help them get a grip and a new wardrobe? After all maybe this should be against the law, like eye-pollution! I’m thinking of writing to Michele Obama. . . if she and her husband are so interested in being involved in every facet of our lives, perhaps there is a gig in this administration for me? Mayhaps I can get a grant and a loan from them — I’ll be helping the fashion-underprivileged for I’m sure that’s the reason so many people dress so badly. . . they just can’t afford better or help themselves. So, if I can be underwritten and funded by the administration I can “Save The Fashion Challenged” because I don’t know about you but my eyes hurt! And there are so many out there who need MY guidance. . . don’tcha think? Please VOTE for me!!!
Another great idea I’d like to suggest to Michele Obama having to do with the weight and the fast food “problem” and who should be allowed to eat it or how to control it is this — what if they had a BMI (Body Mass Index) Scale at the entrance to all fast-food restaurants and an officer enforcing the rules at the door — so depending on where you were on that scale they (Michele & her Oh so smart cohorts and the food police) would and could decide what you were allowed to eat at any given junk food restaurant according to your height and weight for the day. That sure would control insurance costs, now wouldn’t it? Yay! The reason I’m okay with this is that I’m a little light on the scale at this time in my life, ha, ha, go figure. Doesn’t this sound just like our forefathers ideas of freedom?
Now, if Michele won’t go for my plan on the Fashion Police, I have another one. . .how about uniforms for all? And I’ll design them. Perhaps a few different uniform designs, depending on what level you are in the “government”. I think I’m up to the task just let me at it I have all kinds of great ideas. . .
Just some food for thought . . .and it’s not fattening!
(C) Evelyn Garone 4/2011