OMG! I swear, I can not believe the way EVERYBODY is a SPECIALIST now . . . beware. Now even your hairdresser is, or at least I found out that the people at Toni & Guy are. I only went there because the girl I usually go to at ULTA Salon left and was now at T & G (Toni & Guy) so I went to the local one hoping I would find her there. No, she was not there. But I was, and I really just wanted to get my hair done.
Well, I should have kept walking . . . because guess what? For a whopping $115 I could graciously have my hair colored back to my original color, (07-08 dark blond) with highlights by a “hair specialist”. Oh, how nice. I thought it was a little pricey, but as I am a fly-by the seat of my pants girl, I didn’t feel like waiting for an appointment elsewhere, so I decided to go for it. What the hell was I thinking? Hindsight is 20/20. But there would be no cut & style with that, for that would require another “specialist” and I really just wanted my hair colored.
Now, I had decided to bite the bullet and go back to my “real color” as my roots were growing in and I had that Oh, so attractive skunk stripe down the middle of my head that I associate with “cheap whores” as they were the people who originated the “roots” look (in my warped mind, don’t even ask what goes on up there, it’s scary!) because they were the ones who bleached their hair blond and didn’t keep up with the roots in my childhood…ok, weird memories, what can I say, anyway, back to the point.
The “color associate” assigned to me consulted with me and suggested a shade darker than I ever thought I was, we then found common ground by mixing shades, her idea. As I waited for her to come back and take care of me for at least 30 minutes I must have second guessed myself at least 6 times, why I didn’t cut and run is anyone’s guess. Too bad, for as the story unfolds I must have wished I did another hundred times afterwards as I was sobbing into my coffee, thinking how ugly I looked in the mirror, how muddy the color was, how stupid I was for trying something so different right before my son’s Graduation Ceremony when I really wanted to look my best with family coming to town. Damn, damn, and double damn!
How I did not want to cry in a beauty shop in the mall in front of so many people, how I did not want to pay $115 for hair color I abhorred, how did I get out of here with my sanity intact?
Why, why, why I kept asking myself couldn’t I have left well enough alone? Why do I always have to change things . . .why did the “expert” at the salon not advise me that this was going to me a “big” change, that I was going to be shocked, asked me if I was sure or if I was in my right mind? I told her I had never been anything BUT blond, the color “we” chose was like “mud”, ugly, ugly, ugly!
My “color specialist” was very nice and was upset as I was (except it wasn’t her ugly hair she’d have to live with!!), she really DID want to try to make me happy. 5 hours later, I kid you not, after she processed my hair for the THIRD time, she blew it out for the second time. NO styling, NO cut, that would have had to be done by another person, another SPECIALIST, with ANOTHER charge of I KNOW not how much which there was no way I could deal with. I left to drive home to lay in my bed in the fetal position and wish I had never left the house in the first place this God-awful day!
Oh, and lets discuss the 5 hours in the salon from HELL!! This salon was okay for about the first hour, after that it grated on every nerve I had, the music was for hyperactive monkeys. What are they thinking playing that music at the highest volume possible? I do NOT know how the workers work there for hours! My GOD I would commit suicide after the first week there. And I know I’m getting older, but there were older and younger clientele passing through there constantly. I think they hand out earplugs and forgot to give me mine. . .or else everybody else is deaf, or else maybe I shouldn’t have had 2 cups of coffee and sat there for 5 hours listening to heavy bass music!!! Ya think??!! Maybe people will accept anything if you feed it to them long enough, and if this is the norm at the mall, I know I’ll pass for the rest of my life.
I guess you can tell, I will never go back to a “Toni & Guy” Salon. To each his own. I know supposedly “Toni & Guy” does the “Next Top Model” hair, but maybe that says something for them, too. They are just too groovy for me. You should have seen all the “stylists”, too. Everyone of them looked as if they wanted to see if they could outdo each other with tattoos and piercings, except for this one guy who was older and looked like he was the “Guy” of Guy in the name. He also was too groovy with his colored hair and reddish highlights, though perhaps he should have known better to try to carry off. The hair styles in the place went from long white-blond along the type of Pamela Anderson or Courtney Love ( sooo natural, which I never understood, I always thought blond should be goldish kinda’ natural looking, not white like old people, but maybe that’s me) to pink, to red (real sunset red) to orange to blue to real feathers in their hair (the new fetish) to stripes to androgynous looks.
Anyway, we salvaged my hair and I went home rather exhausted . . . a little sadder and wiser. So if you are really cool and with it, love a stomping bass, have tattoos and piercings up the wazoo, maybe Toni & Guy’s IS for you!!
(C) Written by Evelyn Garone 5/2011