A Crab For A Crab . . . Please DO Take Your Medication!

Alrighty, I have to preface this blog with a little info. . . after my run in with BC (breast cancer 2 1/2 yrs ago) I was put on anti-depressants and have been taking them since. . . but had decided, enough already so I have stopped cold turkey. I don’t know if that was such a great idea because it seems like I’m a little extra high strung lately . . .

Everything under the sun is flustering me . . . is it because I’m a sensitive and there is so much unrest in the world right now? Hard to say . . . but I’ve got lots of gripes to share with you. So here goes.

I went to a Seafood Restaurant the other night and ordered an Oregon Dungeness crab for dinner. I was so psyched because I really love seafood.  Unfortunately, when it came to the table I was disappointed, for what showed up was an empty crab shell upturned with a little crab juice (?) in it and the separated legs and claws. Now I appreciate the effort of the chef, and I use that term loosely, for attempting to help me with the work, but where was all the meat that would have been in the shell (body)? When attempting to ask my waitress who was MIA for quite a while, the bartender who was across the open-air barroom wanted to know what I needed . . . WTH? Why was it his business anyway I just wanted him to help me locate my waitress. Afterall, we had bonded with her already, and wanted to ask her.

I unfortunately fell into his trap and answered his query as he told me he could help me. All this accomplished was yelling across the room. I wasn’t raised in a barn, we didn’t yell across public rooms, it caused me some discomfort. I was trying to sign to him to please get my waitress wanting to discuss it with her. He obviously was trying to cow my friend and I. Which made us kind of curious. So I asked him why there was no “whole” crab on my plate. He said because there was NO meat in the body, just the lungs and  inedibles . . . that’s why there was an empty shell with crab juice in it. REALLY?? Now, I am nobody’s fool .  I happen to live in Arizona now where yes, we are landlocked and some people here may know no better, but this little North Eastern girl knows her seafood, and sorry fella, but those legs were connected to something in that body . . . and guess what? THIS crab paid 24 bucks for her whole crab! When our waitress finally did a reappearing act I was able to ask her and she told me she was sorry I wasn’t happy, she’d tell her manager and they’d comp. me with some KING crab legs. I really wasn’t looking for that. I just wanted my original order, the WHOLE crab and Oh well, life goes on. Now, I hoped this was the end of the matter. I just wanted to eat my dinner in peace. My friend and I were chatting and drinking our adult beverages and having a nice time. I said to my friend, “I hope the manager doesn’t come out to speak to us, I just HATE that!” Said too soon . . .barely out of my lips and here comes this big obsequious guy, the Manager who has to kneel by the table (I don’t know about you, but that just makes me feel so weird when someone feels the need to kneel by a table as if this makes them Oh, so less obvious) and asks me what my “problem” was.  Thank God I was succinct for once explaining yet again about the missing body of my crab that I had ordered containing much meat I would have liked to eat. I believe there was no wiggle room for him to dispute. Again there was the offer of KING crab legs, off he goes to order them or so we thought. My friend and I continued with our dinner. My Prickly Pear margarita was one of the best I’ve ever had, I decided to enjoy it, carry on and eat what was on my plate that they had served me. The meal was very good, what there was of my crab.

The manager eventually returns with a small two legged cluster of SNOW crab to offer me on a bar platter. He obviously is not good at what he does. It is not on a plate, just presented right on one of those brown bar trays that he’s holding out to me. And he asks me to take them . . .WHAT? He stands there uncomfortably, looking at me, as we’re eating and says “Uhh, I guess you should take them”, (the crab legs that is … he expects me to take them with my fingers) and put them on your plate.” WTF? He has no plate, and no class and no clue. Our waitress could have served them to me ON A PLATE as she had the rest of the meal, for some reason he felt he had to present them to me, incorrectly, ODD to say the least.

Let me preface this. I ASKED for nothing except what I had ORDERED and expected nothing less!  If this young man was trying to make up for something that they had mistakenly done perhaps he should have kept his word. If he was trying to make up for something they are doing that is NOT right like stealing from the customer (ie. taking the body meat and using it in other things like crab cakes, stuffed shrimp, etc.) he really better get a little more savvy and bribe people who figure it out with a little more than two anemic snow crab legs!

Now my friend and I couldn’t let this go. By this time we were pissed by being played the fools! We asked our waitress who was amazingly friendly what exactly was going on. She originally agreed with the company line that there was no meat in the body. When I pushed the fact stating that that is NOT so, I know it because I have eaten Dungeness crab before body and all, she backed down saying she didn’t know anything except that the manager was inept and had a lot of complaints against him and she hoped we’d complain to corporate and take him and the nasty bartender down.

So now the ball is in my court. We asked him for his business card and information to call corporate to let them know about the ineptitude, if not more. But what the hell, I just wanted some good crab, not a headache.

So, before I write a letter to corporate I decided to check my data, and I am CORRECT! I went on the computer and looked up dungeness crab body and meat and yes it is loaded with it! So either they are ignorant of shell-fish and their properties or are indeed thieves! How creepy! But really should we have to fight for what we order when eating out? My goodness! Must life always be a challenge?

I believe to try to assuage my concerns he did waive the final bill hoping I would not follow through and write to corporate voicing my complaints.  WRONG! Only time will tell what actually happens and what is behind the whole debacle. Weird though, huh?

This isn’t the only bizarre thing that has happened  lately and I swear they’re not my fault! Maybe I’m just overly sensitive  . . .but I know my husband’s eyebrows are raised because he thinks I’m nuts. I know I’m nuts . . .but I think more incidents are happening lately than ever. So I’m starting to wonder if I NEED to be medicated  or maybe committed?  And from the look on my husband’s face as I’m frothing at the mouth at everybody and everything because frankly everybody has lost their minds it might be true! I don’t know if he’s  feeling safe at home alone with me . .

I think I’m the new female Andy Rooney complaining about everything. Hopefully I could become half as famous as him! HA!

So tune in tomorrow and I’ll give you the next installation of my new diatribe . . .

Written by Evelyn Garone 10/16/11