Does your significant other snore? Is it that gurgling, drowning sound that makes you almost want to save the person? Is it that loud, bone vibrating kind that you can hear in your nightmares? Is it the motor boat? Is it the sperm whale? There are so many variations but all are abhorrent!
My husband happens to snore so loudly you can hear him downstairs with the bedroom door closed. It’s amazingly scary. I can’t believe he can sleep through it, the sound is so pervasive.
He goes to bed at 10:00 pm to get up early for work, sometimes I don’t want to go to bed quite as early so I stay downstairs reading or blogging. If I’m not doing anything with sound I can still hear him, downstairs and halfway across the house. The other night, as I climbed the stairs, it was silent in the bedroom. I was immediately worried. Why wasn’t the monster in the bedroom loose? I silently creeped in and checked his pulse worried he was dead! Nope, just taking a long breath to get ready with a new sound! OMG!
When I lay down next to him I try to let the noise soothe me to sleep. As if! The longer I lay there the louder the sound gets, it actually invades your bones. I put the pillow over my ears, I pray for survival. I turn on my side, I get as far from the noise as possible. I push him so he turns over, but he doesn’t budge. I wake him, he mumbles, stops for a few seconds and starts with a new sound at glass shattering decibels. Oh, God what a bad idea, now he’s even louder what to do, what to do? I try to go to my happy place, rainbows and sunshine, angels and unicorns frolicking, right. . . with the soundtrack from hell?! Oh God help me . . .
And I know I don’t snore, ’cause I can’t hear myself. Not what my husband says! But I don’t care then, because I’m asleep!
What do you do to escape from your spouse’s snoring?
Written by Evelyn Garone 11/19/11