Remember in times of yore, when Holidays like Christmas were simple? Okay, so no one alive today is that old, but I’ve heard tales of such. Remember, candles on trees for light (forget about house fires the population is too high anyway), strung popcorn and cranberries. Ah, the good old days were a simpler gentler time.
Today, I decided to start that headache, um I mean pleasant tradition of decorating the tree. First we had to empty the closet of all the stored necessities on top of the giant tree box that will only fit there. (Remember, the houses here in Arizona have no basements or attics, I’m guessing to make life so much easier, just don’t have any extraneous stuff you need to store, then you only have the garages.) Then take the doors off the closet. Pull the box out, have your husband
carry drag it down the circular staircase. Decide who then muscles it out of the box and gets to assemble this simple tree. Of course it is my husband as he’s stronger and taller. Then he leaves me to it. Oh joy! It’s immediately time for the directions after I plug it in and see that none of the lights are lit. Okay, since there are directions . . . I GOT this. Connect three yellow dotted plugs into the main plug also labeled yellow. Now to find them. Rustle through the boughs, okay I can do this . . . plug them in. Viola. Half the tree is lit. Now climb on the ladder and find the three red-dotted plugs and connect them to the red labeled plug. Okay so far so good. One, two where is the third plug? Move the ladder and search. Call in husband to connect other plugs that are unreachable by my short arms. Stand back to look….what? There are some lights out on the bottom branches. Climb on the floor, lay on my back look up into the tree look for more plugs, nope. It’s all plugged in…mess with some of the unlit lights. Nothing’s happening. Ya know there are 3,100 lights on the tree, what’s a few less? I’m good with it, I am not going to get myself nuts! I still have to do all the balls, snowflakes, tinsel, icicles and whatever else. I am at peace with the tree. Now to arrange the branches. Perhaps then as I’m fiddling with it, the recalcitrant lights will magically go on, but it doesn’t matter, except for an anal-retentive person…
I love decorating the tree. It’s just the assembling and lighting that is the stumbling block. We tried to bypass the whole real tree mess with our own fake tree with the lights, but I wonder, is it really easier? Of course it is if you are calm. See, I told you I could get the lights lit!
How’s your decorating going? I have all the bins with the balls and ornaments out ready to go. I can’t wait!
(C) Written by Evelyn Garone 12/4/11