Christmas is here and gone already but it does help to bring family together, isn’t that wonderful? Unfortunately we may not get to see as much family as we wish, some may be too far away geographically, but we all do what we can to celebrate as we see fit. I miss my extended family that is still out in the North East.
I find as my sons have grown older they may have a little less patience with my husband and me and our supposed “humor”. As they have grown older and become more educated, they have also grown much more independent since they live on their own. When they come back to the familial home they have some trouble adjusting to their old roles as my little boys. Living on their own, they can do as they please, so it’s probably strange to come home and live under our roof with us in charge as the adults when they do have their own place where they are in charge all of the rest of the time. Believe me, I understand…..it’s a work in progress this thing called life.
They don’t necessarily enjoy the same TV shows we do and we don’t really want to watch sports 24/7 so TV is a fun adventure for us all to share time together. They no longer think our idiosyncrasies are funny or endearing. I don’t know if that’s a matter of patience or a matter of seeing your parents either looking foolish, old and aged. We’ve turned into eccentric people, but we also have our own personalities which they don’t know, after all they were children….
They tend to flex their muscles both figuratively and literally, they are male and have to show their machismo. There are times we butt heads but the love is plain to see and feel. There are times we all have less patience and understanding with each other than perhaps we should but I guess it’s only natural as we work on the separation process of children leaving the nest for good.
We do have a lot of fun remembering the past and thinking of the future. As we replay the funny times when they were small children we all have some laughs and fond memories which is a wonderful thing. It’s great sharing fabulous meals together for as they’ve gotten older they sure have turned into gourmets. One is a natural-born grill-master and the other is getting into cooking. We bought one a small grill for their apartment deck and the other a set of Emeril Stainless Steel pots and pans with glass covers, now they’re set…. won’t they make a great catch for some lucky girls……
As I ponder memories, I think how some memories can be remembered differently and in that difference feelings can be hurt inadvertently in all corners of life. Memories are a funny thing, everyone remembers things differently, according to their own memories and warped by their own perceptions and experiences, thus mirrored differently according to happenstance, though we all imagine we have the same experience to start with. I’ve learned this as time goes on in life. I don’t know how often their feelings get hurt, I sure hope not too often by me. I think as a woman, my feelings may get hurt more frequently because I’m sensitive, though I know I’m as guilty as the next of being oblivious to others at times. As I said family is funny and the dynamic of family that makes us vulnerable enough to love so much also makes us vulnerable to an accidental careless word or action.
We won’t even get into the drunk uncle at the party or the crazy aunt who dances with herself embarrassing the hell out of us. Since we have moved out-of-state and are on our own it’s just the four of us, we’re lucky we don’t have any real drama. I don’t know what’s better or worse?
What family fun do you have at the holidays?
(c) Evelyn Garone 12.25.12