Bullies

bulliesIt seems society is trying to work out how to “deal” with modern day bullies that seem to be currently multiplying with all the social media our children are growing up with.

I applaud their attempt but wonder if children might need to learn to fight some of their own battles, for bullies do grow up and we must all learn to deal with them sometime during our lives. This may sound facile, but sometimes simple is better. If there is a severe case of bullying, hopefully with adult reassurances and informed advice the situation can be handled before it gets out of hand. There are always exceptions to the rules and these might need to be handled individually with common sense not necessarily legislation.

I agree with laws that have to do with intimidation and defamation involving computers, phones, photos and privacy issues but when discussing words and actions we’re talking about a slippery slope that I think needs much more common sense and talk before legislation should be passed affecting minors and school funding.

If we totally shelter our children how will they grow up to be competent, mature adults able to deal with the aggressive, obnoxious adults they eventually will meet in the real world daily?

I believe it is our duty to help them understand the fine line between protection and their own survival instincts. We must explain that though unfortunately there are bullies and ignorant people in all walks of life we must talk calmly and intelligently to them, speak our mind, stick to our principals yet still things might not turn out the way we want, nor the way they should. There are times people may not pick us to be on their team, they may not play us in the game though we are the better player and this is life.  Life is not always fair. They may say stupid things for no reason, avoid them, they have their own issues. Try to make other friends who will stick with you and be by your side for there is safety in numbers. We must keep going out there doing our best anyway.

It is far better to try to be among the crowd enjoying oneself, ignoring, not engaging, never be brought to angry words for they thrive on that…DO NOT engage in anger! If one must deal with these poor souls, smile, speak quietly and intelligently to the bully with your principles behind you, try to rise above, let them use the bluster and anger and look the fool eventually leaving you alone, blowing themselves out thus showing their hand and shallowness for they are after all bullies!

That’s my advice and my two cents from having met two bullies lately….and they now avoid me, knowing I know their game and won’t play.

© Evelyn Garone 2.25.14

Advertisements

About Evie Garone

I am an outspoken woman with independent views of the world. I am spiritual but also realistic. I've successfully raised two men who I've sent off to college and am now following my love of the arts, including painting, drawing and writing. Thus, two blogs, two books I sporadically work on, voracious reading, among other loves keep me busy.
This entry was posted in bullies, Opinion, social media and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Bullies

  1. Mary Peterson says:

    While I can see your point of view I think it is the viewpoint of an adult with a fully matured brain and a healthy sense of self. Many times both of these items are not fully developed in children and teens and bullies who themselves have self esteem issues seem to attack the weakest and most vulnerable. I am happy to see this issue being addressed
    in our schools and communities.

    by the s

    Like

    • Evie Garone says:

      Mary, Thanks for commenting. I agree with you about the fully developed brain in an adult compared to a child’s (though I’m sure some would disagree that mine is fully developed?!). I think that more may need to be done helping children for as you said bullies prey on the weakest and most vulnerable and they don’t have the advantage as I do as an adult to leave the situation if I chose to nor discus with principles, I just hope these “rules” are well thought out and don’t effect every little thing each child says or does……like I said it can be a slippery slope when legislation gets involved and school funding depends on said rules. Thanks for reading……..Evie

      Like

  2. As a child I was bullied. I walked with a limp, a built up shoe and wore glasses. I might as well have been wearing a sign that said ‘kick me’. My father and older brother were boxers. My brother said, “The next time that kid pushes you around, punch him in the nose.” I did, and it worked. I studied martial arts and learned the philosophy of fighting and mind control. The first recourse is to run. The second is to use the attacker’s momentum to one’s own advantage. After that I studied Buddhism. Namaste, Dennis

    Like

    • Evie Garone says:

      I’m sorry to hear about your unfortunate childhood and the bullying. Good for you and your family for doing what is necessary and protecting yourself. My son had a “little” problem with someone bullying him when he was in fifth grade…..at lunch this boy was hitting my son over the head with a desk when brought to the attention of the school lunch lady, she said she didn’t notice. We told my son to defend himself and after school “off-school grounds” my son hauled off and hit him when provoked the next time and we were proud of him for “defending” himself. I am not one for violence, but when it’s in self-defense I think you must do what your must do to face-down a bully. He was suspended from the lunch program for a week, and we were behind him all the way. The boy never bothered him again!
      I’m glad to hear of your study of the martial arts…that is a great idea. Good luck to you in the future.
      Peace, Evie

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s