How wild is this statistic I heard on the radio yesterday that more women would rather divorce their husbands, raise their children single and keep working than be stay-at-home Moms today? I wonder if what my son who has a degree in journalism has mentioned to me that I should not believe every thing I hear on the radio and on television to be true. Ya’ think? Since hearing this it’s been bugging me…
I happened to be a stay-at-home-Mom and I have to say it was not an easy job! It was rewarding and right for me and my family. It was funny to see and hear people’s reaction to you when you told them that you were a stay-at-home-Mom. I thought I was lucky that we could afford it. I also know it’s not an easy job being a working Mom. I can’t imagine trying to juggle all the responsibilities they do. Neither seems to be right for everyone and every family. There are stats saying children may become obese when they have working mothers as when they are with the children they are more likely to spoil them. There are stats saying children are happier with stay at home Moms. There is another stat saying children are more successful with both working parents. There are stats saying stay-at-home-Moms are more depressed. There are all kind of stats. Who knows what are true? I think you have to do what is right for you and your family. There are so many variables including finances that may decide which way you go. And you should do what you think is right for you and not worry about the rabble, for if you do you’ll never be right anyway!
I understand the premise behind professional women not staying home with their children. Perhaps these women have put a lot of time and energy into their education and career and do not think it is fair that they have to be the one to give up their career and stay at home with the children when they can put their children into a good child-care facility and keep working. Perhaps they do not think they can afford it. Perhaps they think their own mental health will suffer with no mental stimulation? Maybe they wonder why the man can’t stay home instead of her? All these things have to be taken into account. Maybe she makes more money than he does…..
To my mind it was much more cut and dried for me…….I thought it was normal for me to stay home, it was just a fact of life for me to be home with my children, I felt lucky. I wanted to be there every day with my children to see their first step, their first tooth, their first word spoken and be their Mommy at all times. I wanted to be home when they got home from school and hang their A on the refrigerator. Yes, I had no life of my own at times, it was what I accepted. I did bring them to preschool for a few hours break or I would have gone totally crazy. I also got together with other women and their children to break up the days and we chatted as they played. I felt it was my duty as a mother who had brought them into this world. This was my job and it was rewarding. I am very close with my two boys and they are very good successful men and I take pride in the job I did!
The one observation I must make is women should stick together and not pick on each other for our different choices. Society should back us too! We are all the same under the skin and no matter what choice we have made no one is wrong. Who are we to decide for the other what is right or wrong? What works for me might not work for you, none of the above is easy. No child is the same, no woman is the same and we all have to live with our decision. As it is we all question ourselves, we don’t need others to judge, let alone our own sisters! Stats are crap, I don’t necessarily believe them…….society and the media might tweek them to tell us what to do! The most important thing is the children, they are our future, so ultimately I think we should think of what’s best for them……….
(c) Evelyn Garone 2.6.13